I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
This entire experience so far has been absolutely mind blowing. Every emotion has been expressed from annoyance and anger all the way to excitement and happiness. The few months spent assimilating into Dominican culture has been a genuine continuation of achieving enlightenment. I have spent 123 days exhausting in the entanglement of La Republica Domincano in which I have obtained a new, individually unique experience that has allowed my soul to grow and prosper in unimaginable and enlightening ways.
More importantly, there has been one place that has had such a grand impact on me that my heart has grown fonder and more affectionately for others. That place is Los Angeles de CONANI in Santiago.
CONANI is an amazing service site that I am very blessed to have chosen. Prior to making my final decision, I contemplated my options, fully weighing the pro and cons for each. In the end, I decided to serve my community from within the walls of this orphanage. Much tension has arisen from questions regarding the quality of life for the children, but after experiencing everything CONANI has to offer and full-heartedly becoming a member of its community, I can say with all confidence that it is an institution to be admired.
Serving here brings a sense of bitter-sweet euphoria. There are days when you walk out of the gates feeling distraught; as if your efforts and affections are meaningless. However, there are more in which love conquers this sense of desolation and you know in your heart that you’ve made a difference for these kids at CONANI. I am absolutely, downright empowered to have the opportunity to embrace their loving arms and experience their tender loving hearts enthrall my being. Each child deserves affection and attention, equally and individually. I am torn with knowing and understanding the neglect these children seem to receive. However, I admire these children for the ways they interact without neither arrogance nor subjectivity influence their relationships with one another. The kids are genuinely free spirited and love with an extensive amount of curiosity. It allows me to grow in ways I have been fearfully avoiding. Love can possess both attributes on either end of a spectrum containing greatness and sadness. Above all, the effect that these children have on me is immeasurable; each day I discover a depth of love for these individuals that I never knew I could achieve. This is in some way a work of art, reaching out to inspire, question and enlighten me. My journey here and my first encounter with the true underprivileged and marginalized members of society, will forever shape and direct the path of my life.
And if I could offer one piece of advice it would be to never let the fear of desolation prevent you from feeling the impact of another person.
~ Ashley Hottman, Comunidad 16